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Friday, September 3rd, 2010
Candlelighting: 7:07pm

Shabbos ends,
Saturday evening, September 4th, 2010, 8:14pm

Selichot Services,
Saturday, September 4th, 2010,
12 Midnight

Parshas Nitzavim-Vayelech
24 Elul 5770

 

 
 

 

 



 

Ask Slovie - How to raise a mensch

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Is something bothering you and you don't know who to speak to?

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Do you have a parenting problem. Questions or comments about raising your children? 

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Question: Dear Slovie, I loose my temper a lot when I try to take care of my children, is there a prayer or
Reply: Parenting often brings feelings of anger and frustration, especially after a long day. You are right

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Question: Slovie, In regards to the question, Dear Slovie, I loose my temper a lot when I try to take c
Reply: None

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Question: b``h Slovie, I am a mother of two amazing boys, thank G-d. I am raising my son`s to be Orthodo
Reply: dear Debbie, What an amazing job you are doing!It is difficult enough to raise good children ,and yo

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Question: How do I get my 2 year old to start listening to me?
Reply: Welcome to the world of the "terrible two`s". Two year olds bring alot of joy; they also bring alot

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Question: Dear Slovie , I have two sons ,thank G-d `they always fight whenever i tell them to stop they alw
Reply: When parents hear thier children fighting, it causes them much pain. We worry that G-d forbid, our c

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Question: Hi Slovie, My name is Mazal and I have 4 daughters Baruch Hashem, but i cant seem to have them li
Reply: dear Dear Mazal, I appreciate your frustration.Children who do not listen bring out feelings of

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Question: dear slovie, I have a 2 years old son. He's such a sweet boy, but he's starting to yellow all the t
Reply: two year olds are at the point of testing you and testing the waters of disipline. They also like to

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Question: Hi Slovie, Thank you for your wonderful insights. My daughter is completely obsessed with her p
Reply: Dear P.,Thank you for your kind words. It is amazing to think about the range of concerns that comes

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Question: dear slovie, i am a recent divorcee with 2 young children. suffered through 5 years of an abusive
Reply: You have gone through so very much yourself and now you must deal with the pain of your child. Obvio

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Question: hi slovie, thanks for all your wonderfull advice. i was just wondering how i could get my 3 year ol
Reply: I have great diificulty understanding how a mother can contemplate the sending away of her child-esp

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Question: BS"D Dear Slovie, My husband and I have a 15 month old son. He is the Joy of our life! Recentl
Reply: Dear L., You are right to pay attention to this behavior that many parents may just attribute to a s

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Question: PLEASE DO NOT PRINT MY NAME WITH THIS QUESTION ON THE WEB. THANKS. I try to be a respectful daught
Reply: First, allow me to wish you mazel and blessing! There is so much I'd like to share with you but spac

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Question: Dear Slovie, this question isn't about parenting, but I think you can answer it anyway. The thing i
Reply: Dear Diana, I admire your quest for knowledge about Judaism. In order to gain the understanding that

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Question: hi and thank you so much for this wonderful forum. i was wondering what the jewish view was about ta
Reply: I appreciate your wanting to give your children a "better more holier way" for your children. You di

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Question: Last year I got divorced. I am in Israel, my X is in the US. He paid less than a quarter of the chil
Reply: I am so sorry for your plight and know that no one can imagine your pain. I don't see a question pos

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Question: Dear Slovie, B"H My daughter met a man on the computer who said he was a
Reply: Dear Miriam, You are the bubbe and carry the heart and soul of your family.I am sorry for your deep

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Question: Dear Slovie, I am glad that I found someone that I can tell my problem to. It may not sound
Reply: We all have choices to make in life. One of the most important choices we make is how to live our li

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Question: Shalom, I appreciate you taking my question. I am a Jewish mom with four children. When I was marri
Reply: dear Aliza, you certainly speak from your heart and want so much for the beautiful souls that you ha

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Question: Mom's Jewish! No need to convert! Zisskind
Reply: no one is speaking about converting!bring born Jewish is not enough- you must live your Judaism each

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Question: Dear Slovie, I just finished Roy Noiberger's book "From Central Park to Sinai." I got inspired b
Reply: though yours is not a parenting question, I am glad you wrote so that we can set the record straight

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Question: Hi, I have a question re my daughter, and a friend. Both are nine. The friend, is a boy. Recentl
Reply: Dear Marsha, I do appreciate your concerns, because peer pressure is a huge influence in our childre

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Question: our son(we are Jewish) is marrying a Jewish girl her parents do not want to be under the chuppah
Reply: I understand that you never imagined this as an issue, standing under the chuppah is every parent's

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Question: Please do not use my name if you decide to publish my question. DEAR Slovie, I am in a pure dilema
Reply: I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time when your life should be filled with joy.In J

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Question: hi Slovie im Jew and i would like to know why people get divorces does God send us our partners and
Reply: you have an excellent question-it really is an understanding of the fact that we are sometimes given

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Question: Shalom Alchem, My name is Simon Salter. I was listening to the rebbitzin when today she came in
Reply: Dear Simon, next time you have the chance to hear the Rebbetzin in person, be sure to ask her about

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Question: Hi Slovie I am a Jewish woman, blessed with a wonderful husband and seven year old son. I was rais
Reply: I admire your quest to transmit your heritage to your child. True, it is more difficult to begin wit

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Question: Please don't use my name if you decide to publish my question. Hello Slovie!!! I'am a jewish woman,
Reply: I am sorry for your difficult situation. On one hand you would like to give your children a peaceful

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Question: Dear Mrs. Wolf, I am one of Mrs. Jungreis's students in the 12th grade. You have spoken to my class
Reply: I am so happy to hear from you-the best thing to do is to either speak to Morah Jungreis or to call

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Question: Dear Slovie, I am going through a divorce due to an abusive relationship. I have two boys ages 1
Reply: i am sorry that you are going through the pain of divorce and an abusive relationship-compounded by

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Question: Hi slovie, Loved your class. Been practicing what you suggested. This is what I found so far.
Reply: Acting sad when a child does wrong instead of mad is to ensure that we discipline from the right pla

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Question: Dear Slovie, I admire you teachings and feel compelled to ask you a question. I know that you co
Reply: Dear Susie, I thank you for your kind words.Though as you say, you do not have a parenting question,

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Question: Good morning Slovie. I attended your inspirational lecture at Temple Avodah yesterday and had some
Reply: So wonderful to hear from you!Actually, what you describe is very normal with raising teens.(i have

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Question: When does Hashem starts testing people? Children need to learn how to behave but, many don't have g
Reply: your question is most profound. We are put into this world by G-d with circumstances that are beyond

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Question: Dear Slovie, Please do not use my last name if you publish this. My background is a father who was
Reply: Dear Tired and Weary, You have ,no doubt, endured much pain and suffering.You are also blessed with

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Question: Dear Slovie, My 3 year old daughter frequently cries when she doesn't get her way and then always s
Reply: Three year olds are learning to share and interact with friends. Now is the time for you to introduc

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Question: Dear Slovie: I am a mother of a lovely Special Needs Child. She is almost 7 years old and has a
Reply: Dear C., I hear many different emotions and thoughts in your letter.You write that you adore your

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Question: Dear Slovie, I'm a Jewish woman who has an issue with my 25 year old daughter. She fears that sh
Reply: I think that it would be a good idea to have your daughter join some charity orgs. and volunteer org

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Question: Dear Slovie, My husband and I have one adorable 11 month old baby boy. He is a very smart and de
Reply: Dear Sara, One of the most important ingredients of 'good parenting' is "menuchas hanefesh"- sereni

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Question: Hi Slovie, I really have missed your classes and advice. I plan on being at the next class but I
Reply: Dear M., I've missed you at class but until the next one, let's see what we can do right now. You d

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Question: hi Slovie can you please give an explanation of what middot are. thaks!
Reply: sure! 'middot' means character. It literally means, in hebrew, 'a measurement' ; because the way we

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Question: dear Slovie we have always been close to our married son aand his wife. they live nearby they have
Reply: What terrible pain you must be feeling!A mother's greatest joy is seeing all her children loving eac

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Question: Hi Slovie!I`m an 8 month mother, who works at morning; & leaves my baby at kindergarden. she is real
Reply: A parent, (working or not), without sleep is one whose patience is tried, there's no doubt about it.

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Question: We all know that man is responsible for his/her actions. can you tell me more?
Reply: Our sages teach us that 'everything is in the hands of G-d except for awareness and fear of G-d.' Me

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Question: hi, i was raised orthodox, my husband, with nothing Jewish,he was robbed of his heritage, as they a
Reply: Dear Exhausted, You are so tired, so sad and down but there is also so much anger and rage that com

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Question: B"H Hi I am a single mother of 4 with a daughter who is 7 a twin girl and out of control some of th
Reply: Of course you love your child and want to do what's best for her. It must be difficult for you to ra

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Question: I am a 30 year old woman whose mother has become Ba'al Teshuva upon her third marriage, ten years ag
Reply: You are going through so much and this is a most complicated situation that needs more than an email

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Question: Hi: I wear and want my son (age 3) to wear tsitsis, but my non-baal tshuvah wife does not. She "let
Reply: I think that the issue is much greater than tzizis- it is one of parents being on the same page as y

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Question: My wife and I are conservadox, very respectful of our religious tradition as my parents were survivo
Reply: I understand that this is a most delicate situation that cannot be resolved in an email of a few lin

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Question: Hi. I was wondering if any of your mother's books are available in large print. Can you let me know
Reply: the best thing to do is call the Hineni office, at 212 496 1660- I believe that there are talking t

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Question: Whould have Ha Shem forgiven Adam/Eve is they came clean with their disobedience? Would mankinds dir
Reply: What a deep question! It is impossible to know the answer to 'what could've been', but, instead, the

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Question: Shalom Aleichem Slovie and how are you...? Thank you for this forum to relay questions about all
Reply: You speak with obvious pain about a loved one who does not seem to hear your voice or care to add mo

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Question: Dear Slovie My problem is : I am coming from a wonderfull and very observing familly and I have a
Reply: Dear J., You have undertaken quite a great responsibility-great and noble. Your brother's children

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Question: Dear Slovie, I wanted to thank you for answering my question that I wrote on 12/2/2007 about my a
Reply: Dear Susan, First, I am glad that you did see my reply. I answer each qestion and I would not want

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Question: BS"D Dear Slovie; I hope you can help i have 3 children B"H, one girl almost 5 years old (in tw
Reply: Dear Flora, It sounds like you have your hands full! Thank G-d, you have 3 children and the oldest

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Question: I am a mother of a 30 year old single dauther.Tall, pretty, gelungen Bais Yaakov type girl who canno
Reply: Dear M., You are right to be concerned about helping your daughter gain a better sense of herself.

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Question: Dear Slovie I would like to join shabbath services in your Shul with my family. /please let m
Reply: Dear Judith, What a nice email! unfortunately, there are no hotels nearby, we are in a suburban tow

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Question: Dear Slovie, I am new to your website and not raised Jewish. We live in Lawton, OK with no synagogu
Reply: Dear Elizabeth, Of course it makes sense, we are the people of the Book, and must have the kowledge

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Question: Dear Slovie I started to have problems with my married children.my oldest daughter has become so un
Reply: I understand your worry, but listen, please, to this teaching: the hebrew word for joy is 'simcha'.

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Question: dear Slovie, Hi, I'm actually not a parent, I am a 19 year old daughter. But I have a question con
Reply: Dear T., I understand that you are going through a terribly turbulant time and I cannot imagine bui

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Question: B"H Dear Slovie, My husband and I are actually in the midst of a judicial action in order to get a
Reply: Dear H., No doubt, one of the greatest pains that a parent faces is the hurt of dealing with a chil

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Question: My wife, six months pregnant with a boy was killed by a drunk driver the first night of Pessach, and
Reply: You have been through an awful tragedy, yet, you have been able to uphold your children's faith and

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Question: Dear Rabbi Slovie, I have finished reading Committed Life, do not live in N.Y. or any where near
Reply: What a wonderful misssion you have chosen! Our sages teach us that more than the Jewish people have

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Question: Dear Slovie, I am not a parent but still have an important question. I have lost both of my parent
Reply: You have gone through a terrible tragedy, there is no doubt. We do not comprehend the ways of G-d, t

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Question: Dear Slovie, I am trying to help a family from Israel relocate in NY. He works for the Israeli Gove
Reply: Dear C., Thank you for your email. I give parenting classes on both the east and west side of the c

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Question: BS"D Dear Slovie, I am dating a man who is growing in his Judaism. He attends Torah shiur's,
Reply: Dear Aliza, I understand that you feel that this man is kind and compassionate; especially since he

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Question: I saw a seminar you gave today and was extremely moved. A lot of what you said hit home. I would lik
Reply: Thank you so much for your email-it was wonderful meeting your book club today. There are many aven

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Question: Dear Slovie, My husband and I are growing in our Judaism, and are by no means perfect, My husban
Reply: You are both certainly trying to keep the fifth commandment, 'Honor your father and mother'. There a

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Question: hi slovie , i have a boy who is 5 years old and keeps on getting up in the night ,you can most of
Reply: First, know that you are not alone. There are so many children with night time fears and sleep issue

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Question: Hi Slovie, I am reading your book "Raising A Child With Soul" and love every page of it! I am in
Reply: Dear Irina, Thank you for your question about teaching Judaism to your children. Each month there a

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Question: Dear Slovie, This is my second question to you. Our son is attending a public school, and recentl
Reply: Dear Irina, You are correct to be concerned and you must teach your son a proper reaction to being

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Question: Dear Slovie: I found you through the Shalom TV channel in Portland, OR. My husband and I watch y
Reply: Dear Jodi, What a wonderful email! thank you for watching and listening. I would love to start a pr

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Question: I was given your book by my good freind Jodi Samuels. You are her hero! I am loving your book and
Reply: You are extremely blessed in your life and have been chosen to bring so much kindness into this worl

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Question: My grandson is just turning 3 and he is very underweight and does not ask sufficiently for food and
Reply: This is really question for your pediatrician to first answer-is he truly underweight to the point

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Question: My son has ADHD (special needs) and perhaps mild Aspergers syndrome. He doesn't sit at a table and
Reply: Yours is a very good and important question. First know that each child is custom made and chosen fo

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Question: I would like to discuss finding a shidduch for myself and would like to schedule an appointment.
Reply: please call the hineni office at 212 496 1660 and ask for Phyliss who will be happy to meet with you

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Question: When ones children are out in the world with all sorts of people at school and at work and play, how
Reply: the bottom line is that our children need a strong jewish education. We are sadly raising a generati

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Question: My 22 year old son moved out of the house a year ago. He went to live with three band members in an
Reply: I am so sorry for your deep pain. it must also have been confusing for your son to see such a gap in

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Question: Hello, I always though that for a marriage to end, someone had to commit a great injustice. I know
Reply: One should never feel hopeless- it is a mitzvah to live life filled with joy. My father would always

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Question: Dear Slovi, my doughter is graduating this year from school,were is the best place to send a young g
Reply: It is a wonderful experience for the girls who go to seminary in Israel after high school. i do not

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Question: I am writing to request help finding a shidduch and it would be greatly appreciated if you could hel
Reply: Please call our hineni office at 212 496 1660, and ask for phyliss who will be happy to help you fin

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Question: Dear Slovie: I am a little confused and could really use your guidance, please. A couple of weeks
Reply: please call me at the hineni office-212 496 1660, so that i can discuss this with you at length. be

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Question: Dear Slovie, My girl is 5 years old and I see somtimes that she is lying to me and my husband.Me and
Reply: Dear Orly, First, i'd like to reassure you that five year olds sometimes lie. it doesn't mean that

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Question: Dear Slovie, I am writing to you because I need help in making a decision. At this moment I am work
Reply: I cannot, of course, make this decision for you; but I can offer you some words of wisdom. The debat

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Question: hi, i am teaching a class on relationships and communication to a group of 11th and 12th grade girls
Reply: i would tell you that the Torah has incredible wisdom to give over-especially about the power of our

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Question: Hi Slovie! I'm Avi from Paris, France and I would like to have your opinion about boys/girls relash
Reply: hi Avi, Thank you for your question -all the way from paris! I understand your concern. You are tr

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Question: Hi Slovie, how are you ? I'm from Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Idon't read your book yet, I would like
Reply: Wonderful to hear from you in Brazil! First, you can buy my book on amazon.com and they will ship it

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Question: Hi Slovie, I have missed you over the summer and can't wait to resume class. My question is this:
Reply: You have been doing the right thing-this is becoming a struggle against going to sleep. You need to

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Question: Hi beautiful soul/Slovie. If you are really scheduled to appear in Canada, please let me know the ex
Reply: i would love to meet you on october 26th, in toronto when i speak for the uptown chabad, 15 hove str

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Question: Dear Slovie, Iam having a problem with my family. I was brought up with hardly any religious observ
Reply: I am so sorry for your pain-it is a parent's joy to see 'nachas' from children and you are feeling s

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Question: Slovie i am desperately looking for a schedule . of your speaking engeeamnts in toronto. What
Reply: thanks for your email-i will be in Toronto this monday, october 26th, at the uptown chabad, 15 hove

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Question: i am a mother of 3, 1 daughter/19, 2 sons, 11 & 8 1/2. i have been married to a gentile for almost
Reply: You are in a position of wanting so much to feel connected to our traditions and our to people but y

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Question: Hi. We BH have a few kids ranging in age from 9 down to a new born. We have become increreasingly a
Reply: I am glad to hear that in general, you feel that your children are 'good children'-this means you ha

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Question: Thank you so much for your book. I have started reading a little bit every night and I'm inspired by
Reply: I appreciate your email and i am glad that you are enjoying the book.Your thoughful and gentle natur

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Question: Hi, my name is Chaim Wall. I am a young teacher at a Jewish school in Toronto. I also have a s
Reply: Thank you so very much for your email. I am sure that you give much love and wonderful lessons to yo

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Question: Dear Slovie, Again I must say thank you for your book which I've been reading a little each night.
Reply: I believe that there is a wonderful formula that i write about in the book that gives us the right d

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Question: It says in the torah that we have to "fear our mother" and "respect" our father, because it would be
Reply: I am glad to know that you've watched the utube and enjoyed it.Regarding the laws of respect, you a

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Question: hi, i have a daughter that is 1 year and a half, she is really good in general, but every time that
Reply: Though your daughter is just 1 1/2 , you are right to address the issue. You do not want her growing

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Question: סלוביה שלום אני ק
Reply: Since your question is written in hebrew, i will translate the baisics for our audience: You are a m

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Question: Hi, I hope you could answer me. I interact and know many people that are jewish but not religous. It
Reply: Yours is a crucial question, and I am so glad that you have written. We can never be satisfied and c

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Question: Dear Slovie, It was wonderful to hear you discuss children/ parenting and your views on the wor
Reply: I am so sorry for your heartbreak, you are right, it is not funny when it is your life. In fact, it

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Question: our oldest son who will be 18 and was educated in a modern orthodox yeshiva and raised in a orthodox
Reply: While the Israel experience is, of course, rewarding and a wonderful oppurtunity for spiritual growt

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Question: we have 2 daughters 30 and 32, neither one married yet. the 30 year is dating someone and her sister
Reply: This does not seem to be a new problem ,rather, a difficult situation between your girls that has on

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Question: slovie, i am the mother of a 27year old girl that is dating a muslim boy and she has plans to go bac
Reply: the best idea is to ask your daughter to our hineni building in the city before she goes, come to a

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Question: I have communicated with you before about large families after reading your book. Your book however,
Reply: My dear friend, You have touched upon a real problem and a solution must be found. I understand tha

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Question: Dear Slovie i loved reading your book and your words of Torah were inspiring and comforting. How
Reply: How wonderful to hear from you from Australia! Though I am not a 'nutritional expert', I do imagine

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Question: Hi Slovie; My friend Rebeka from Baltimore, suggested to contact Hineni for help I'm a divorce par
Reply: My dear friend, There is so much going on in your life, and sadly your children are already at an o

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Question: my college aged daughter tells me she will never marry. our hearts are broken. she attends a secul
Reply: You are focusing on so many worries, as we, mothers do-but most are worries about the future and not

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Question: Dear Rebbitzen: My kids live in Eretz Israel and are being educated in the Daati Leumi school sys
Reply: Your question is a little unclear but I will try to explain to you as best as possible: yeshiva stud

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Question: Hello, I am writing from Argentina to ask for some advice. I have a very good friend of mine who su
Reply: Judaism is our light in the darkness especially in times of trouble, G-d is here to give us strength

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Question: Erev tov rebbetzin I was divorced several years ago and for a couple of years slacked much on my
Reply: One of life's greatest regrets is thinking 'if only' especially when it comes to our children.But we

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Question: I am reading the fourth book by Rebbetzin Jungreis and they are fantastic. I am trying to do everyt
Reply: I must tell you how much i admire your efforts toward leading a genuine Torah lifestyle despite the

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Question: Where I work (Manhattan) there is a 30 year old secular woman (single), who wants to return to her r
Reply: Our hineni office can be reaches at 212 496 1660. we have classes and one on ones available, and wou

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Question: Hi, I am interested in speaking with Slovie regarding a highly personal matter. Is there a way
Reply: please call the hineni office at 212 496 1660 and leave your info-email and phone contact, i will be

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Question: Hello Slovie, After reading your mother's book I feel you are all part of my family. I live in Los
Reply: You are obviously handling alot and it is of course not easy for you but there is nothing as importa

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Question: Dear Slovie, I'm a mother of 5, four girls and one boy. My third child, Becky, is having severe pani
Reply: Dear L., You do not write how old your child is but I will try to give you some insights: I believe

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Question: Hi Slovie, I have been so at war with myself on how to handle this situation. I'm hoping you can
Reply: Your friend is blesed to have such a wonderful friend as you. I understand your conflict, we often

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Question: Dear Slovie, I am a mother of four and am trying to do the best I can to make Observant Jewish li
Reply: When I was a child, i grew up in a community where there were no children like me or my siblings. We

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Question: Shalom Slovie, I am a 55 year old man who was raised in a christian home who several years ago di
Reply: Yours is an amazing story, but it would be most important for you to find a local Rabbi who genuinel

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Question: I'm french and sorry for my english.I have a problem with my daughter Yaelle who is a very very nice
Reply: Your daughter needs to meet her 'bashert' match but you need to help her. We need to make an effort

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Question: Shalom & Greetings from Israel, I've just read the book "The committed life" and feel relieved to h
Reply: the Rebbetzin will be in Israel on a lecture tour this coming Fall/Winter, bezras Hashem. Please cal

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