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One of the most painful problems of our generation is finding a shidduch - one’s soul mate. The singles population is constantly growing, and many despair of ever finding the right one. In this week’s parsha, we find the road map for a good shidduch.


When our father Avraham Avinu adjured his servant Eliezer to return to his homeland to find a shidduch for his son, Yitzchok, Eliezer asked, “Perhaps this woman will not be willing to follow me to this land?” (Genesis 24:5) To which Avraham replied, “You shall then be free from this oath “(Genesis 24:8).


But if Eliezer would then be free of his oath, who would Yitzchok marry? Since he could not marry a woman from the land of Canaan (as Avraham previously stipulated) and if no woman was willing to go to Eretz Yisrael, what would happen to G-d’s promise that the children of Avraham would be as numerous as the stars in the heavens?


Logically speaking, there was no answer to this dilemma, but when it comes to following the Will of G-d, logic is transcended. Even if it appears to us that we are undertaking the impossible, we nevertheless follow His road map, fulfill His commandments and trust that He will do the rest as He did for our forefathers. 


In our society, in which assimilation is rampant and intermarriage is rife, people very often try to justify “marrying out” by claiming that there is no one else available, Such rationalizations are unacceptable. Even as Abraham, we must trust G-d to send us our destined soul mate and we do not divert from His road map. 


The following are shidduch guidelines from the parsha to follow:


1) Prayer:

It was with prayer that Abrahaam sent Eliezer off to find the shidduch, and it was with prayer that Eliezer launched his mission, and it was with prayer that Yitzchok greeted his bride, teaching us that the most important thing that we can do is to appeal to G-d to guide us to the right one. The mincha - afternoon prayer, is especially propitious for that was the prayer of Yitzchok when he first beheld Rivka.


2) Chesed:

The litmus test that Eliezer used to find the right girl was chesed - loving kindness, something that we would do well to remember in our materially obsessed culture in which men are often measured by the depth of their pockets and women by their appearance.


3) Get On With It:

Avoid procrastination. Eliezer very clearly challenged Rivka’s family - “Yes or no? he demanded, so I may know whether I should turn left or right?”(Genesis, 24:49). Once again, something we would do well to bear in mind in a society in which procrastination has become vogue, and critical years are wasted in futile relationships. Follow HaShem’s road map - stay the course, and you won’t go wrong.


Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Osher


This Torah portion is dedicated in memory of

Chaya Golda Feigel bas Yitzchok

Parshas Chaya Sara      21 Cheshvan 5777


(All times are for New York City)

Friday, November 10th, 2017

Candle Lighting time: 4:24PM

Saturday, November 11th, 2017

Shabbat Ends: 5:34PM

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