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What Should I Do to Find My Life Partner?


One of the most common questions asked by singles is "what should I do to find my life partner?" - so for this weeks dating tips, here are some constructive ideas toward reaching that goal... So for this weeks dating tips, here are some constructive ideas toward reaching that goal...


1. PRAY - Find someone who is also looking for their marriage partner and sincerely pray for them. Our sages tell us that if we pray for someone with the same problem, our prayers are answered first. Perhaps you can gather a group of friends together and pray for each other on a regular basis. Hashem loves to hear our prayers, especially when we are united.


2. NETWORK - Prayer is important but we have to do some real work too. Networking is a valuable tool in business as well as in social arenas. Tell friends and people you meet that you are actively looking to get married. Everyone has friends who are single and they may know someone who could be right for you.


3. SELF IMPROVEMENT - Some people have such high standards for who they will marry but are willing to accept so little from themselves. As you have a list of qualifications for your potential mate, so will others. Ask yourself "Would the kind of person I`m looking for want ME?" Take an honest inventory. We are all special because a spark of G-d is within us, but what have we done with our potential? Are we pleasant to be around or do we look "forbissona" as Rebbetzin Jungreis often says. Do we complain, gossip, add negativity to any conversation? Are people happier when we come or when we go? Do we have good middots (character traits)? Like attracts like...musicians love to be around musicians, artists around artists...If you want to attract a person of good character, you must be a person of good character. Take stock and zero in on where you need work and make a plan for improving. Ask your friends or someone you respect to help you. Perhaps a simple thing like buying new clothes might just make all the difference.


4. Matchmakers - Matchmakers can be a valuable tool for meeting new people. It is important to go to someone reputable who truly wants to help you. At Hineni, the Rebbetzin and her daughters make introductions as well as offer a free computer database of 2,000 singles(see Ilan and Phyllis).


5. Computer - Many new services have come forth on the internet...It is very important to be careful with these.. "Caveat emptor". Some do not check their participants and there are many horror stories as well as marriages.


I would like to stress how important it is to keep a positive attitude - sad and bitter people are never attractive. Every day of life is a gift from G-d and we can have meaningful and fulfilling lives while we`re single. Learn Torah, do acts of kindness, add to the world each day - Make it a better place because you`re in it, and you will find happiness, single or married..... Come visit us on Tuesday at KJ or Thursday evenings at The Hineni Heritage Center, and be sure to join our singles data base... May all your dating experiences be good ones!....see you at Hineni, Phyllis